Turned up to eleven: Fair and Balanced

Tuesday, September 03, 2002


War, what is it good for? (good question!)

I am going to rant and vent a bit now, so those of you who come here for reasoned, well informed, calm opinions can go elsewhere for a while. I am pissed off, and I am going to use my platform to reach my dozen of readers and let them know about it!


What the f*ck is going on.

It is now almost a year since 9/11, and what have we done? The time of memorializing, contextualizing, mourning the loss is upon us again. Wouldn't it be nice if some small change in the ways of the world had occured in this year since the moment "everything changed"? Lets review; Islamist nutjob arranges to crash planes into buildings, devastates us. We fight back by...what? Searching people for tweezers, apparently. Yes, we did fight a "war" in Afghanistan, and succeeded in toppling a weak extremist regime that was harboring terrorists. Unfortunately, we failed to capture or kill those terrorists. Instead, we apparently stood around with our hands in our collective pants while they went and hid in the mountains, or fled to Pakistan. WTF? Shouldn't capturing or killing Bin Laden have been priority A-1**** for a while after 9/11? What in the world could be more important than that? Oh, right, steel tariffs and farm subsidies, making sure no grandma got on a plane with tweezers or a stick of gum wrapped in foil that could be used as a weapon! Also, lets make sure that we protect the rights of gun owners by not checking the records of gun sales, but we won't worry about protecting people against snooping into what they read (by the way, there is a reason the 1st amendment comes 1st, and the 48% of you who think it is too protective of our rights should go move to Saudi Arabia, where they have dispensed with all this silly talk of "rights")

Now, we come to about a year later, and where do we stand in the war on terror? Is Osama behind bars, or in pieces in some Afghan cave? Well, we don't know about the latter, but he sure as hell isn't the former! In a year, the most feared, hegemonic, powerful nation has managed to avoid capturing any major players in Al Qaeda (the guy they have at Guantanamo seems not to have been too high up, from what I understand). Mullah Omar and Osama are off somewhere playing checkers, for all we know. Meanwhile, Dubya and co. seem to have decided that we don't really need to pursue that silly attempt at Justice, and instead should go after the guy who is willing to stand still (Saddam).

Here is my proposal, and I hope some people will take me up on it. Everytime a member of Dubya's administration gets on TV, radio, or gives a speech about going to war in Iraq, someone should start chanting "Where's Osama", and keep it up until they get thrown out of the building. Every columnist in the country should write an op-ed every week, entitled "How close are we to capturing Osama?". NOTHING, with the exception of the very preservation of our country, should be more important than finding that bastard. To do any less is to insult the memory of everyone who died nearly a year ago.





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